Sometimes in life we feel ‘This is it. I am what I am now, I can’t change and neither can my life’. Did you know this is just a statement generated by your thoughts, governed by your mind and translated into words for you to act on? To go forward, you have to go a little backwards first to do a bit of mending. If you carry on going forward with the same amount of negative baggage then the chances are that neither you nor your life will change.
So how do you go about going back to mend? Just becoming aware of why things are the way they are is half of the healing done. Most of the time, people feel lost because they don’t know how to go forward only because they don’t know how they got here in the first place. When you don’t know why you are worried, you can’t stop worrying. Once you have understood what is worrying you, you can then go on to deal with it.
Many compounding factors can make you get to a point where you feel things cannot change. A major one is the significant adults around you when you were growing – when the mind is developing it soaks up everything like a sponge and starts forming a non-tangible belief system. Everything you hear and see will have impact throughout your life if not dealt with on time. Negative role models within the significant adults in your childhood have a negative impact on your growing up, and this will inevitably have a profound impact on all areas of your life. We learn behaviour from these significant adults, we learn how to deal with matters, we learn our speech and interaction and above all they are the main generators behind our early confidence. The self-esteem built at childhood will remain your platform for the future and if the groundwork is not secured in its construction period, it will result in an insecurity that is susceptible to wear and tear and will not tolerate emotional disaster.
The first step to making peace with your past is recognition; recognise where there was negative input in your childhood, which may still affect you now. Whatever happened, whatever was said at that time was perceived by a childhood mind; look at it now with an adult mind. There was nothing you could do to change it then, but you have full control over what you want to change now. So it’s about looking back in the past but making the change in you, now. The past is done and dusted but the here-and-now is still here and waiting for you to take that first step of changing the negativity ingrained in you by others. That was their negative moulding, that they had no control over, that was perpetuated to impact on others’ lives. They are the ones you should feel sorry for, those who could not recognise this negative trait to make a change. But you are in a stronger position, wanting to make a change… so look back, forgive, make peace, embrace the change and move forward.
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