Most relationships, whether romantic or not, suffer because of disappointments between people but these disappointments are often a result of expectations that people have from each other. The best way to not let your relationship suffer at the alter of expectations is to not have some of them:
Expecting them to agree with you. People are different. Just because they connect with you doesn’t mean they don’t have their individual personality. They may have their own attitudes, values and beliefs. You don’t have to agree on everything. In the way that you are not here to live up to the expectations of others, you should not feel that others are here to live up to yours.
Expecting them to like you. There is no need for everyone to like you. Some may find it difficult to be civil to you, while you may be the best thing that could have happened to another’s life. No matter how good you are to people, there will always be at least someone who will be critical of you. But that’s perfectly fine. You don’t require everyone’s approval to lead your life.
Expecting them to change for your sake. This is particularly true in case of romantic partners. You have liked them for the way they are. Now why expect them to change to be perfect as per your ideal? Sometimes, the more you try to change people, more they remain the same. Allow them the freedom to be as they are. Stop expecting them to fit your ideal image of them. Either you accept who they are or then simply choose to live without them.
Expecting them to always be ok. We are only human and have our weaknesses and strengths. Just because someone is usually outgoing and happy go lucky, doesn’t mean they will always be gregarious. People have their bad days. Not being ok all the time is perfectly ok!
Expecting them to know what you’re thinking. People are not mind readers. You need to communicate clearly or they won’t know what you’re thinking. In the absence of clear communication, there are unresolved issues, simmering resentment and an eventual breakdown of the relationship. All this can be prevented by effective two-way communication.
Relationships change over time. Any kind of change is stressful yet, because it is inevitable, welcoming change as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep change from happening. Planning for changes together can lead the relationship into new and exciting places. By changing our thinking about expectations, we open ourselves up to whatever good comes up in the interactions of both the parties. If we accept that everyone is doing the best they can, our attitude towards our relationship will improve, making it more fulfilling and enjoyable.
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