Men and women have very different approaches when it comes to finance. It’s engrained into your psyches, influenced by your hormones and by your genetic evolution.
In fact, it may be as much to do with your past, as with the way your brain is wired. In every society worldwide, the man was traditionally the breadwinner. It was his job to provide for his family while his wife looked after the children and the household.
Today, that’s changed but the legacy remains. The instinct for the man to ‘bring home the bacon’ is still there and some men feel it more deeply than others if they can’t provide for their families, whether that’s due to illness, unemployment, redundancy or low pay.
Being a breadwinner is still an important part of many men’s identity and, rightly or wrongly, money is also a source of self-esteem and confidence as well as a symbol of stature and power. This is why men are often more confident and aggressive when it comes to matters of finance. Take, for example, when a group of male friends get together and the subject of conversation turns to money – more times than not, it ends up in a ‘who has the most’ debate.
When a man wants to attract a partner, he will do what he can to present himself as financially well off – even if he isn’t. In fact, University of Texas psychologist, David Buss, has found that, across cultures worldwide, women value ‘good financial prospects’ in a potential partner more than men do.
In general, men see the world has hierarchical and competitive. In the man’s head, there is always a winner and a loser – and evolution has programmed him to want to win.
Women, on the other hand, are more co-operative and democratic when it comes to finances. They tend to be less confident and more anxious about finances, especially when it comes to investments and retirement planning. Financial advisers say that women tend to blame themselves in the event of an investment failure, while men will blame the advisor and credit themselves when an investment is successful. A study by Merrill Lynch also found that 47% of women felt unknowledgeable about investing as opposed to just 30% of men. Women are also more reluctant to ask for a pay rise. Which may go some way towards explaining why women still get paid around 25% less than men.
That’s not to say women aren’t astute when it comes to finances. Far from it! While men are more confident about investing, women are better at saving and frugality. In fact, 67% of women believe it’s crucial to have money stashed away for an emergency, but only 45% of men feel the same.
When it comes to spending habits, however, women spend about 10% more on travel than men, while men spent up to 50% more on technology than women.
All these differences mean that money can be the biggest problem in many relationships. Seven in ten couples own up to fighting over finances – which is why it’s important to talk about finances, both personal and shared, early on, before the squabbling starts.
When doing so, remembering that, in general, both men and women have the same goals in life can be helpful. Everyone, regardless of sex, wants a family that’s happy and healthy, a nice home and a secure future enjoying each other’s company. And when it comes down to brass tacks, money is just a means to those ends.
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