When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match

Sexuality is an important component of existence. It is a basic human need and an important factor in assuring holistic health and wellness. Passion drives all humans. Understanding human sexuality, its mandates, requisites and preferences is necessary to attain fulfilling sexual experiences. It ought to be a blend of the desire to please and the will to satisfy. This is over and above the wish to experience pleasure oneself. Good sexual relationships arise from personal and interpersonal awareness of the self as well as the partner’s needs. A relationship is enriched when each member focuses on their own varied sensual experience rather than see physical satisfaction as the sole goal of sexual encounters. Sex drive is the urge for sexual intercourse and requires a connection at a deeper interpersonal level between two individuals.

There are many couples who have unequal sex drives. Drive depends upon your emotional state and is also learned and practiced and reinforced. But what happens when your sex drives don’t match?

Unequal sex drives might lead to frustration, irritability, bickering and disruption of a relationship. It can reduce intimacy and cause the couple to gradually move away from each other.

Understand the cause. Impaired sexual drive primarily stems from perceived inadequacies, emotional distractions and deep rooted anxieties. These imprint on the vulnerable mind and cause fears to become conditioned. What sexual baggage did you bring to the relationship? For instance, if you have a traumatic past where sex has been a disturbing cause, you may be reluctant to get too sexually active in a new relationship. Look at your history and learn from it.

Communicate. Communication of needs to each other is imperative. If your sexual relationship is not living up to your needs, start asking for what you want. Talk about things when you are both calm and rational. Talk openly without blaming each other.

Seek therapy. In several cases Dual Sex Therapy (DST) is beneficial. When couples want to be their best for their partner and invest their focus in giving rather than receiving, sexual bliss is a happy outcome.

The quality of a relationship depends on how well it meets the needs of those involved. Consider your partner’s needs as legitimate, and look at how you can meet those needs. Don’t label your partner as being wrong, oversexed/undersexed or dismisses the issue. A good sexual relationship is one that is gratifying to both partners.

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