Sticking to a budget is difficult enough, but when you have a partner, it becomes even trickier. Who gets to say, ultimately, whether or not that exorbitant grocery budget is worth it or not? Who determines how often you should go out to eat? What about when one partner has debt, and the other doesn’t? These questions all have to be addressed, and responsibilities need to be agreed upon, if a couple is going to make any kind of significant budgetary progress.
If you and your significant other want to get serious about making a budget and sticking to it, here are a few things you’ll need to sort out in order to be successful. Set aside a period of three to four hours to accomplish everything on this list.
Set Goals
First, sit down with your partner and discuss your goals as a couple. This is absolutely crucial to budgeting, because if you don’t set goals, you’ll never come to a consensus about how much you need to save and how you’re going to save it. Think about anything financial that you and your partner want to accomplish over the course of the next few years. This includes things like buying a house, having a child, taking a trip, or even everyday activities like making more financial room for date nights.
Be forewarned that differences of opinion may come up. You might be dead set on purchasing a home, while your partner may not see it as a very big deal. Be ready to make compromises. Don’t set a budget until you’ve agreed on a specific set of financial goals to move forward with.
Discuss Debts
Now, it’s time to disclose your debts. Debt isn’t always bad. If you have a mortgage, for example, that may be a financial benefit to you as a couple. Everything from student loans to medical bills should be disclosed, if you’re really planning to create a mutual budget.
After all the cards are on the table, determine who is responsible for paying what. Do you believe it’s your responsibility to help your partner pay down their student debt? Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But get on the same page about what needs to be paid off and how quickly you can get it done.
Determine Priorities
Next, discuss your lifestyle preferences so you can determine priorities for any money that doesn’t go toward living costs, your goals and your debts. For example, if your gym membership is important to you, that’s a lifestyle priority. Perhaps for your partner, it’s going out to see the latest movies. Make a list of the priorities that are important to you and those that are important to your partner, and add up approximately how much each one of them costs per month. Try to keep both lists equal in terms of the amount of money needed per month.
Figure Out the Numbers
Now it’s time to do the dirty work of calculating your actual budget. Apps like Mint.com are great tools for helping you set budgets, but a manually written list of expenses will also work just fine. After calculating your monthly income, set aside money for all your living expenses (housing, food, utilities, groceries, car payments, etc.). Now set aside money for the debt payments you discussed and the goals you set together. With what’s left over, allocate money so that each partner gets a similar amount of cash each month in priority spending.
Assign Responsibilities
Now that you know how much you’ll be spending on what each month, it’s time to figure out how you’re going to do it. Between you, discuss what you want this financial life to look like: Will you be getting a joint bank account together, or paying for things from separate accounts? If it’s the later, figure out which categories each person will be paying for. Also, determine who should be paying each bill and by what date every bill needs to be paid so no one is late with their financial responsibilities.
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