When Rebecca Ley’s family and wellness team held a “best interests” meeting for her Dad at his nursing home, it marked a milepost in his deterioration. This was the third session of this kind that has been held for him over the past few years, set up to consider specific issues for those whose mental health has suffered to the point where they are not capable of making decisions for themselves.
According to Rebecca, when the first meeting was held several years ago, it was clear that something was wrong with her father but he had not been properly diagnosed. ‘Despite his erratic behaviour, he was still technically deemed capable, and it was only after we pushed the authorities for help that the meeting was arranged,’ she said. ‘It was attended by a social worker we had never met before, the community psychiatric nurse (CPN) who had “been keeping an eye” on Dad, despite the ambiguity about his condition, and several family members.’
These meetings involve answering several questions about taking care of your loved ones wellbeing; Should the person move home? Should a certain medical intervention take place? Should funding be allocated? Rebecca explained that her Dad wasn’t part of the meeting. ‘I remember that was one of the oddest things about it,’ she noted. ‘Since then, I have become inured to talking about Dad when he is not there, but that was the first time. Discussing him in an airless room in a council building, water cooler burbling in the background and minutes recorded, our concerns were made official.’
Rebecca stated that the meetings have become more and more straightforward over time, as her father’s condition has got noticeably worse and his needs have become more apparent. Rebecca said that she didn’t even need to come down for the last meeting, as her mother was capable of representing the family. She explained, ‘The further he has sailed into his condition, the fewer questions there are over how to manage it. Still there was a lengthy form that needed to be filled in to ascertain that he is in the best place for his needs and eligible for the funding he receives – boxes that must be ticked, in an attempt to ratify the unfathomable melting of a mind.’
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