Nothing helps you to feel younger and more alive than a great night of passion, but how do you drum up the energy? Once you reach a certain age, sex can seem more like a chore than a treat, but you’ve got it all wrong, says anti-ageing wellness expert Shiv Joshi. According to Joshi, if sex has become more draining that invigorating for your wellbeing, you might need to try a new technique. Tantric sex may sound a little bit new-agey and weird, but once you read about it’s revitalising benefits, you’ll definitely want to at least give it a try.
‘For most of us, energetic sex means making love like animals and then collapsing exhausted,’ says Joshi. ‘That’s not what Eastern traditions believe. Both Tantra and Taoism believe that sex relates to our vital energy. When we make love, not only are our bio-magnetic energies at play, but also our vital energies—the energy that runs through our entire being. Tantra believes that ejaculation wastes energy and robs the woman of her potential multiple orgasms. Toaism believes that when a man ejaculates, he depletes his vital energy because his sperms carry jing or the sexual essence and life force. Now you know why men fall asleep afterwards? In fact, some immediately drop and start to snore.’
So how does Tantric and Toaist sex differ? ‘The aim of Tantric and Toaist sexual practices is to energise us and not exhaust us,’ Joshi explains. ‘Sex should bring us alive, charge us in ways where we can enjoy not just the experience, but life as well. In the modern world, Wilhelm Reich was the first scientist to describe the nature and purpose of orgasm as a discharge of excess bio-energy with the additional liberation of feeling energy [in the mid-1930s]. He also recognised the negative consequences of blocked sexual energies. The Karezza Method too advocates non-seminal intercourse in which men have to hold back just before ejaculation. It increases pleasure, stamina, vitality and longevity.’
Joshi points out, ‘It is not surprising for practitioners of Tao, Tantra or Karezza to have intercourses sometimes lasting an hour. Not foreplay, but intercourse. Because they take it slow. Men are encouraged to hold back, women to let go. It’s done with love. Lovemaking is a joint effort, a merging of two energies. When we make love this way, all chakras open up and all barriers break. The result: an energetic union of bodies and inseparable fusion of minds…For sex to be really electric and energising, it needs to be approached as an art. Such sex will help you feel complete together.’ So how do you achieve this amazing sex as a couple?
1. Don’t Rush: Joshi advises, ‘Spend at least half an hour in foreplay, touching each other, enjoying the sensations.’
2. Hold Back: ‘This one’s for men,’ notes Joshi. ‘Try not to ejaculate every time. It results in a tremendous turn-around in the vital energy.’
3. Change Your Mindset: Joshi recommends, ‘Make lovemaking an experience not a chore. Stop focussing on pleasing each other or your performance. Focus on how it feels.’
4. Breathe together: ‘Take longer filling breaths,’ Joshi instructs. ‘Try and circulate your energy together, as one energetic whole.’
5. Have a Knees Up: Joshi suggests, ‘Gently massage or kiss the acupressure point at the back of the knee, just between the ligaments for stimulation when you are making love.’
6. The Hard Shoulder: Joshi outlines, ‘Give your love a big O by placing pressure along the tendons of the shoulder, just beside the neck. As your partner reaches climax, gently massage the shoulders to stimulate a longer and more satisfying orgasm.’
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