Do you find yourself busy at your workplace beyond regular working hours?
Yes. Often the pressure of work makes you sit late and work later and later. You may need to explain to your spouse the necessity to work late, because it has piled up and you have to meet a deadline. Probably, after sometime the situation improves, when the actual workload is not so bad. By now, you are habituated to work late and you create work for yourself, as you do not want to go home in time. May be you find relief from your problems of stress or depression when you are at the work place.
What are the relationship costs of working late?
- Often problems crop up in relationships. A Partner puts some issues on hold, till the patch subsides, but the work keeps coming. When the couple tries to address the problems, they find it difficult to get anywhere, resulting in unwanted arguments.
- The next problem is around money. One partner feels like the other is frittering away the hard-earned money.
- Another common one is about a lack of attention shown by one partner to the other.
When you go home late, often, it is evident that you are struggling in your relationship. Poor relationships add to the inevitable stress of executive life, and can lead high performers to sink into depression.
If there is still a commitment on both sides, be assertive about finding a counselor, whom you both accept. If not acceptable to any one of the two, approach a different therapist.
If you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship that’s not in distress, you need to look ahead for your better future. Try the following steps:
- Have a periodical review. Take a weekend, away from home, without the kids. Discuss openly how you feel the relationship, and how both of you balance between work and life.
- Listen to each other. You assume how the sentence will finish.
- You chose your partner for good reasons. Treat each other with respect.
- Do not allow minor irritations build up over a long relationship. They can cause real damage to the relationship.
- Always adopt the position that the other person has the best intentions for the relationship.
- Never, ever call each other names. If you call your partner a “lion” you might later say “I didn’t mean it”. But the fact is you thought it and you put it out there.
- Seek help early. Early intervention is always the best, fast and successful.
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