Postnatal depression is now a recognized mental health condition, but too little has been spoken about how it affects men. The experience of being close to his partner and experiencing all that she does can be heavy-going for many men, most especially when the female partner experiences problems of any kind. Women with postnatal depression can cause their partner great suffering and the sensation of being quite overwhelmed with such an extreme set of changes in life.
Women who undergo postnatal depression often fail to realise that it’s an illness, and attribute their symptoms to mere hormonal changes. Mood swings can be severe, and when left unacknowledged and untreated can really disorientate the man in the household. As with all mental health conditions of this nature, the sudden change in behaviour of someone close to you can leave you feeling totally lost. When this happens alongside the experience of having a newborn baby in the household, it is no wonder that the male partner can also show the key signs of postnatal depression: mood swings, irritability, depression and a sense of isolation.
Another difficulty that men face after childbirth is the sensation of sudden neglect. Previous to the birth, he may have enjoyed a close relationship with his partner, but suddenly he finds that her attention is completely taken up with their new baby. This sensation can be worsened by the fact that friends and family will pay all their attention to the woman and baby and tend to leave him out of the equation. He may feel rejected and blocked from forming the attachment to the child that he inwardly desires. Such a shift of attention is worsened still further when sexual intimacy fails to resume. Many women experience a low libido after giving birth, and this is especially so in the case of postnatal depression. The lack of closeness and intimacy can lead to frustration, anger and a sense of rejection.
Postnatal depression in men can include all the symptoms usually applicable to women and be just as damaging to their wellbeing. Mood spirals and depression at their worst extent can cause a lack of bonding to the new child or even divorce. It is important to seek professional help if the situation appears to be out of control. Friends and family members will be an important source of help in this situation and can help the couple by paying equal attention to both partners as well as contributing to childcare to help them get their relationship back on track. Responsibility also lies on both partners to work on their relationship for the sake of their individual wellness, as well as that of the child’s.
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