Talking to women; some guys do it naturally, whilst some just think they can and others go into a blind panic thinking about it at all. Most blokes are simply never taught the right way to go about it, which means your confidence can take a knock every time you try chatting someone up, and, if you do manage to get a girl to go out with you, the wellbeing of your relationship is hardly going to be strong if you don’t know how to talk to her!
Firstly, if you want a woman to feel like she’s connecting with you, you need to tap into her emotions. If you share topics like childhood memories, future ambitions, and passions, and listen to hers, you’ll make her see that you’re capable of emotional wellness. Women appreciate men who are not afraid to take a conversation to a personal, intimate level, or express themselves and what they’re passionate about – just don’t make it too personal too soon!
To stop things from getting too deep before you’ve even learnt her name, keep an eye on her body language to make sure you’re not making her feel uncomfortable in any way. Keep the conversation fun, but that doesn’t mean you have to make her laugh all the time (and it might turn her off if you do). Go back to your playground tactics and tease her a little bit to keep things fun and flirty, and use things like ‘cold reads,’ in which you tell her what you observe about her, and what she might be like.
However, when observing her, avoid going heavy with the compliments. One or two are great, but overdoing it can make you come across as too ‘needy’ and she’ll think you’re not being honest, and just trying to impress her. Though she may be beautiful, have nice eyes, or have a hot body, avoid complimenting her on these things in particular as these are a) clichés and b) make you come across as shallow. Instead, compliment her on something that makes her unique, and something unrelated to her looks if possible.
Finally, choose to make statements over questions, so she doesn’t feel like she’s in an interview. Instead of saying ‘where did you grow up?’ go for ‘you don’t look like you grew up around here.’ Conversation games, such as ‘truth or dare’ or the ‘5 questions game’, can help to keep the mood fun and flirtatious, just make sure you don’t give away your hand too soon. Appearing overly interested or desperate won’t help you, but instead make it a bit of a challenge so she wants to win you over. Otherwise, she’ll lose interest.
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