If you have a sex addiction, admitting it can be difficult, and many feel like it’s a one-time thing. You might think you only have to say “I am a sex addict” once for the healing to begin, but unfortunately the road to mental wellness is not as simple or easy as that. When it comes to addiction, it’s a long process that involves many complementary steps, one of which is fitting into a therapy group.
Group therapy can be a daunting part of the process for many reasons. If you walk into that room, sit in that chair, and face a circle of other people who are battling the same addiction, you can feel like “one of those people”. You never thought you’d be here, and so you go from group to group or leave after a few sessions. However, this is the time when you’re very much in the grip of your addiction, and the brain mechanisms defending the problem are still at work.
You should feel free to try a number of different groups in order to find the right one that will help you towards a better overall wellbeing, but if you’ve tried seven or more groups and still not found one you like, it may be time to consider the possibility that the problem isn’t with the group. There are many organisations that sponsor sex addiction treatment groups, each with a different tone, and so you should be able to find something to suit you.
Based on Alcoholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous prescribes its members sexual sobriety. This means members are not permitted to have sex outside of marriage or sex with the self. However, as the group defines marriage as between one man and one woman, it can be problematic for many people. You may be more comfortable with Sex Addicts Anonymous, as the anonymity is an important factor of the group, with members being screened before they are given the meeting times and locations. Each member is allowed to define sobriety for themselves, and it’s open to all.
In Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, there is a focus on the non-physical side of sex, which can also produce addictive brain chemicals, like the physical side. Members of this group can be addicted to seeking new relationships and flirting, and so identify “bottom line” behaviours, which can include emotions and thoughts as well as physical actions. Finally, though the majority of Sexual Compulsive Anonymous is made up of homosexual and bisexual men, more heterosexuals and women are joining. Members of this group are encouraged in healthy sexual expression over repression. Some groups can also be tailored towards couples and spouses of sex addicts, so look online for one that suits you.
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