Friendships come and go like passing moods. It’s easy to make quick friends at the bar one night, at a temporary job or in your neighborhood. When you move on or change interests, these types of friends leave your life. Lifelong friends run deeper and wider, and require more effort and work to maintain. But in the end, you’ll be happier and healthier thanks to well-maintained friendships throughout your life.
You can make lifelong friends starting today using these eight tips.
Be kind, compassionate and honest
Good friendships develop because you’re a good person. As a caring and loving individual, you nurture your friendships with compassionate and kind energy, even when it comes time to be honest in tough situations. Honesty and authenticity allows you both to stay true to who you are. These personal qualities support the good in any relationship.
Make time for each other
There’s a common belief that true friends can go a long period of time without talking and then easily reconnect. While in some cases this may be true, healthy friendships that go the distance are built and sustained on time spent together. That time can be over the phone, video chat or in person. Time together helps you maintain a connection and common bond. You can keep up with each other’s ever-changing inner and outer landscapes without being surprised at your next meeting.
Show up for each other in good and bad times
When the rubber meets the road it’s important to know who’s got your back. And when you’re in a tough situation, like in the hospital or going through a divorce, true friends show up, offer a shoulder to cry on and make you smile. Be that person for your friends, and acknowledge those who do that for you.
Embrace each other’s differences
As humans, we try our hardest to find people just like us to reinforce our own identities. But the difference among us creates fresh experiences that help us evolve our likes, dislikes and compassion for one another. Embrace your friend’s differences and learn to love them for who they are and the unique qualities they bring to the friendship.
Adapt to changes
With time, you and your friends are bound to change. Life molds you into new people. Your interests or lifestyle might change. Assuming it’s for the better, then true, lifelong friends adapt to ongoing change and embrace the newness. Stagnation can make for stale friendships. So enjoy the changes and evolution of your closest friends.
Always assume the best
Negative Nancy’s are quick to think you’ve left them hanging for some atrocious reason that’s not even true. True friends assume the best about one another and expect a good, true, and honest reasoning for any shortcoming until disproven.
Be willing to put in the work
Lifelong friendships take work and planning but true friends fall in step. Be willing to do what it takes to stay connected, spend time together, nurture your relationship and honor the other person. Be forgiving when needed. Give tough love when necessary. And show up for each other as much as possible.
Be a good listener
Listening goes both ways. Lifelong friends know how to take time to listen to each other. Ask good questions and be curious. Listening is a gift you give each other on a regular basis. And equal giving is a necessary function of a healthy friendship.
Lifelong friends are more than just pals. Quality friendships improve your health. One study shows that individuals with a good social network have a 50 percent higher survival rate than family and friends with lower quality social networks.
While it’s easy in your younger years to make friends because you’re going to school or at work, it can be more challenging as you age. But that’s the exact point in time when it’s most important. Stay connected as long as possible to live as a long as possible.
Friendship is more than just a good time. It’s comfort, companionship and safety throughout your life.
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