It’s hard being a first-time mother. Newborns have a knack of turning your world upside down. Fussy baby, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding issues, compulsion to carry on as usual with the rest of your life and not succeeding in it completely, stresses due to unrealistic expectations, all of these contribute to feeling a bit overwhelmed. Here are a few ways in which you could handle things better:
Fussy baby: There are a lot of unfussy babies and when you see them you wonder why your baby is not one of them. But know that babies do cry and the range of temperaments between babies is quite broad. It’s very normal. What is more important is that it is only temporary. Your baby will eventually stop crying and things will get less chaotic. But if you are worried about some possible medical issue, take the baby to your doctor so they can check to make sure that everything is okay.
Unrealistic expectations: Often parents have unrealistic expectations about what it’s going to be like having a newborn. It’s common for moms, who are tired, who are trying to breastfeed, and to adjust everything around the new baby, to start feeling exhausted and frustrated. But this will also make them feel guilty. Sometimes mothers are worried about the quality of time that they’re spending with their child when they don’t feel very upbeat. This makes them judge themselves. Experts advise that new mothers need to be easy on themselves. They have to understand that it is tough on them physically and emotionally but they will make it through it and will have a wonderful relationship with their child.
The comparison trap: When new mothers see other new parents on social media, they may fall in the comparison trap. If you’re seeing all the fun, positive images, and then are looking at yourself and wondering what’s wrong with you, understand that there’s absolutely nothing wrong. Your experience is normal and temporary. It’s popular to project upbeat images of yourself and your family. Understand that you are judging yourself against other parents without knowing the whole story.
Seek support: Let your family members and friends help you. Be kind to yourself. Seek a support network of people who can help you out and reach out to them and do ask for help. A lot of people don’t feel comfortable asking for help. But know that your loved ones do want to help and they will know your needs only when you speak up.
See your doctor: If you’re really down, and feel that you can’t go on, do check in with your doctor. Make sure you’re not dealing with postpartum depression. It’s a real condition and it does affect your health, the health of your child, and your relationships. Seek advice from your healthcare expert.
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