As more and more parents work longer hours, finding good childcare options is harder than ever for many people. So, when friends or family can step in and help look after the children, it is often a great solution. But trusting another person, even if they are a close relative or friend, with your child, isn’t always easy.
Equally, from the other perspective, looking after someone else’s child on a regular basis can bring many challenges. So, whether you’re asking someone for help or providing help with childcare, it’s good to establish some ground rules to avoid misunderstandings or arguments further down the line. Here are some of the key things to think about:
How long is the arrangement for?
You might think you only need help in the short-term, but a couple of weeks can quickly turn into a couple of months and before you know it, your short-term solution can become a long-term arrangement. Make sure the other party has the same expectations as you when it comes to how long the childcare arrangement is to last for.
How will expenses be repaid?
While a friend or relative might not want any payment for looking after a child, there can still be expenses to think about. If the children need feeding or entertaining after school, costs can quickly mount up so chat in advance about budgets and expenses.
Will you expect a reciprocal arrangement in the future?
If you provide help for a friend when they need emergency childcare, will you expect the same in return at a later date? Remember, just because one person is able to help, it doesn’t necessarily mean someone else will be able to. Avoid bad feeling by being upfront about what you expect and what you can provide.
Do you agree about discipline?
Looking after another person’s child can be difficult if you have different expectations when it comes to behaviour. It can be confusing and upsetting for a child to be reprimanded for something in one place that they are allowed to do elsewhere.
Can routines be maintained?
Children thrive on routine and it can be unsettling for them to have different arrangements each day. Try to keep their routines as similar as possible even if they are being cared for in a different place. For example, homework time, meal times and TV time can be kept the same where possible.
Don’t let the children feel like an inconvenience
Never complain about childcare arrangements in front of a child or they could feel that they are causing trouble and stress for the adults in their life.
Keep communicating
Always find extra five minutes to have a chat with the person who is going to be looking after your child. This is crucial to let each other know about how the child’s day has gone so far, or any worries you might have about their health.
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