Apparently, uncertainty in a prospective romance is not so sexy anymore. Forget about it fuelling the chase further, says latest research. Those who are more certain about things heating up with prospective romantic partners will put more effort and find them sexier than someone who appears uncertain or is distant. So, if the cool, disinterested interest is your style of catching fish, online or offline, remember, it’s you who might end up being a stunned mullet!
According to a new study from the University of Rochester, published in the journal ‘Computers in Human Behavior’, the study by researchers from Israeli-based Interdisciplinary Center Herzliya, along with the University of Rochester, finds that uncertainty about potential partners’ romantic interest decreases their sexual appeal. On the other hand, those who feel greater certainty that a prospective romantic partner reciprocates their interest will put more effort into seeing that person again, while rating the possible date as more sexually attractive than they would if they were less certain about the prospective date’s romantic intentions.
Over the course of six interrelated studies, the researchers examined whether and under what circumstances uncertainty about a partner’s romantic intentions would affect their partner’s sexual desirability.
In the first study, 51 women and 50 men, ranging in age from 19 to 31 years, were led to believe they would be participating in an online chat with another participant who was located in a different room. They had their picture taken and were told it would be shown to the other person, who was, in fact, an insider, working with the scientists. Then the researchers showed the study participants a photograph of their purported chat partner. In reality, all participants were shown the same picture of an opposite-sex individual. At the end of the chat via Instant Messenger, the scientists told the participants that they were allowed to send one last message to their ‘partner’. Some participants were told that a message from their chat partner was waiting for them; others were told there was no message, thereby creating either certainty or uncertainty, respectively, about the potential partner’s intentions. Afterwards, the researchers asked the participants to rate the insiders’ sexual desirability and their interest in future interactions with them.
Participants rated the sexual desirability of their potential ‘partner’ on a 5-point scale ranging from 1 (not at all sexually desirable) to 5 (very much so). The data shows that they thought the potential partner was more sexually attractive in the certainty condition than in the uncertainty condition.
While some scientists have argued that uncertainty spices up sexual desire, study co-author Harry Reis, a professor of psychology and Dean’s Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at Rochester, says the results of the study suggest the opposite holds true. He explains, “People may protect themselves from the possibility of a painful rejection by distancing themselves from potentially rejecting partners. They experience higher levels of sexual desire when they feel confident about a partner’s interest and acceptance.”
Adds lead author Gurit Birnbaum, a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya, the findings suggest that sexual desire may “serve as a gut-feeling indicator of mate suitability that motivates people to pursue romantic relationships with a reliable and valuable partner.” Conversely, “inhibiting desire may serve as a mechanism aimed at protecting the self from investing in a relationship in which the future is uncertain.”
The verdict is clear: Sexual desire thrives on reduced uncertainty. So, should you play hard to get, hoping it would make you more successful in the dating arena? “Our findings do indicate that this idea is on life support,” says Reis. According to him the uncertainty idea was “never supported by solid science – but folk wisdom at best.”
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