Most of the people who get pain during sex are women – painful intercourse rarely affects men. A study carried out in Sweden found that 9.3 percent of women suffer with painful sex, and this is higher in young and inexperienced women, and fairly low in those over 50. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, so pain can ruin this experience for those suffering with this problem – usually the problem will resolve itself if time is spent on foreplay so that the woman can relax and become more aroused. Lubricants can help with this problem as well, as many people find that they can’t get aroused and this means that the body doesn’t produce natural lubricants. If you’ve experienced just one or two episodes of painful sex, you don’t need to worry – it’s natural that you’ll feel discomfort from time to time when a sensitive part of your body is being prodded quite hard. But you don’t need to put up with regular occurrences of painful sex. This usually means that there is something wrong, so you should seek advice from your GP when this happens. You may prefer to opt for a family planning clinic, or seek out a female IPM-trained doctor privately who is specially trained to deal with this problem – this is the advised route. There are also some great NHS-funded psychosexual clinics where they can offer advice on this issue – Sheffield, Preston, Tooting and Paddington are some of the best in the country. If you’re looking for a low-cost option, you may want to speak to a counsellor at a relationship clinic, such as Relate. While there are obviously physical reasons why you may be experiencing pain during sex, it’s important to remember that there is usually an emotional element as well. At the very least, experiencing pain during sex can be distressing which makes sexual activity stressful and anxiety-inducing.
Some of the physical reasons for pain during intercourse are serious, but the majority aren’t and are easily treatable. Painful intercourse, or dyspareunia to use its medical term, can be tested for by a vaginal examination and tests depending on what your GP believes it is. If you can note down your symptoms this will make it easier to narrow down the problem. Vaginismus is a condition which leads to deep and superficial pain, and is a common cause of painful intercourse. This is mainly caused by the fear of being hurt and leads to a spasm of the vaginal muscles. Some women with this problem have a fear of the vagina being touched, so may never have had sex or even had a smear test. It can lead to strong emotions and can make those who have it very angry with partners or doctors, and even themselves – it’s no-one’s fault though and cannot be helped. It’s commonly caused by a restrictive upbringing where sex was viewed as dirty or sinful, a medical history of painful vaginal infections, a history of rape or childhood abuse, or unease with a partner. This is best treated with therapy or counselling, as well as ensuring that you’re in a loving and supportive relationship with someone who makes you feel relaxed and at ease. Other problems include trouble with the womb, endometriosis, ovarian problems and pelvic inflammatory disease. Superficial pain can be caused by a lack of lubrication, which can be easily dealt with by using an effective store-bought lubricant. A well-endowed partner can also cause pain during sex, as some women find that their partner’s penis is simply too big – if they have a particularly narrow vagina, this can make the problem even worse. Although most women should be able to accommodate any man, given that the vagina stretches, some women find it a problem. This is something that can be overcome by simply relaxing and easing into sex, or using a new product which acts as a cushion around the penis and shortens the length of the shaft.
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