You may think that postnatal depression (PND) is a condition reserved for female wellness, but recent research has shown that PND can occur in men, often as the result of the man’s partner suffering from it. Coping with your partner’s depression can have a huge impact on your own mental health, causing you to feel overwhelmed, isolated, and even stigmatised. This can take its toll on other aspect of your life, including your work, your relationship and your parenting, so it’s incredibly important to get yourself checked out, and get the help you need, if you think PND may be an issue for you.
As your partner has had the child living and growing inside of her, she has a deeper inborn connection to the child and so can devote her whole focus on that, instead of on you. Up until now, it has only been the two of you and so not getting used to the lack of attention can be a contributing factor in male PND. Plus, you may have been looking forward to more physical intimacy after the pregnancy, but giving birth lowers your partner’s sex drive considerably, as does the strain of being a new mother. This can make you feel rejected and unwanted, and even blame your new baby for the distance between you and your partner. You may also experience PND after seeing the immense pain and trouble your partner went through during the delivery.
In men, PND can present with a wide range of symptoms:
- Feelings of isolation or rejection
- Mood swings
- Lethargy
- Panic attacks
- Loss of sex drive
- Irritability
- Hopelessness
- Lack of motivation
- Difficulty in concentration
- Lack of bonding with the new born
- Somatic complains, such as headaches and stomach pains
- Work-related problems
- Substance abuse
In order to deal with PND, you need professional help as well as the support of your family members. For this reason, it’s important that you let your family know if you think your well-being is affected by PND, as otherwise they may become to wrapped up in your new baby and its mother. Your partner should make sure that you are just as involved in the child’s welfare and upbringing as she is, and you should also strive to make time for each other so the “couple you” doesn’t become lost in the “parent you”. Consult a doctor for more information.
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