Helping a loved one with both a substance abuse and a mental health problem can be a roller coaster for your wellbeing, as well as your relationship. It’s common for a sufferer of these co-occurring problems to resist treatment, which gives you both a very long road to recovery. This is why the first thing you have to learn is how to accept what you can and cannot do. There’s no way you can force a loved one to remain sober, nor can you make them take their medication or keep their appointments. The only thing you can do is make positive choices for yourself, keep on encouraging your loved one to get help, an offer support as much as you can without losing yourself in the process.
Once you’ve got that mindset in place, there are other helpful tips to follow when helping your loved one deal with substance abuse and a mental health problem:
1. Get support for yourself: While your main goal here is to support someone else, dealing with a loved one’s dual diagnosis of mental illness and substance abuse can be painful and isolating. Healthy relationships are based on give-and-take, but your loved one’s dual problem is probably preventing them from giving you what you need, even though you’re doing your best for them. Therefore, it’s vital that you make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need to cope. This can be as simple as talking to someone you trust about what you’re going through, but some people find it helpful to go to therapy or join a support group. Do whatever works best for you, just make sure you’re not alone.
2. Set boundaries: While emotional support can help give you the strength you need to care for your loved one as much as possible, that’s not to say that you should put your all into supporting your loved one. When it comes to providing care for someone with a substance abuse and mental health problem, you need to be realistic about how much you can do without becoming overwhelmed or resenting your loved one. Obviously, this is a close friend or family member, and so you can jump into caring for them without thinking of yourself. However, you need to set limits on disruptive behaviours, and stick to them. Letting the co-occurring disorders take over your life isn’t healthy for you or your loved one, so make sure those boundaries are clear.
3. Learn more: In order to be an effective source of support and care for your loved one, you need to educate yourself on the problems they’re facing. The combination of a substance abuse and a mental health problem means that your loved one isn’t likely to be in the right state of mind for proactive education, but this is where you can help immensely. The more you understand what your loved one is going through – including the mental health problem, substance abuse treatment and recovery – the better able you’ll be to support the process.
4. Be patient: No matter how much you do or learn – or how well you do it – your loved one isn’t going to recover overnight. Not only does he or she have an abuse problem to deal with, which can be a long road to wellness for any individual, your loved one also has to learn how to cope with mental health issues also. Bear in mind that relapses are common during this process, as recovery is an ongoing thing that can take months or years. As you work towards recovery together, ongoing support for both you and your loved one is crucial.
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