Frontenac Gazette
For many parents, the “birds and the bees” discussion with children can be a rather awkward occasion. The Kingston Unitarian Fellowship (KUF) is hoping to assist with this task by offering an Our Whole Lives (OWL) comprehensive program for children of all ages. Grounded in a holistic view of sexuality, OWL equips participants with accurate, age-appropriate information in six subject areas: human development, relationships, personal skills, sexual behaviour, sexual health, and society and culture.
“I took a precursor of the OWL program it my own youth and it was life-changing for me,” says Shawn Cox, program facilitator and director of religious exploration at KUF. “It really had a life-altering and a positive impact on me.”
In addition to providing facts about anatomy and human development, the program assists participants in clarifying their values, building interpersonal skills, and understanding the spiritual, emotional, and social aspects of sexuality.
“It’s age appropriate and when we’re dealing with the youngest kids we’re talking about personal space and we give names to things that are often mysteries,” Cox says, noting that studies have shown that kids who are able to call their body parts by their correct names are less likely to abused.
“If a kid is left with secret things and they don’t know how to talk about them, they don’t talk about them. But if a kid is able to talk about their penis or their vagina, it breaks the illusion that a pedophile can have.”
Younger children are also introduced to where babies come from – “we take away the cabbage leaves and the storks and everything,” notes Cox -as well as to the fact that there are different kinds of families. “In the younger grades that’s a big thing that we talk about,” Cox says. “There are all different kind of families and there are different ways of being. Some people have one parent and some people have three parents and we all just work with what we’ve got.”
For the older grades, an anonymous question box is introduced, and the students are invited to submit any question they are curious about but perhaps shy of bringing up directly.
“Sometimes at the beginning we have a few jokesters in there but we answer every question as honestly as we can and we research it,” Cox says. “As the program goes on they start realizing that they can ask those questions.”
Older kids are also taught about STDs and contraception, and are introduced to the idea that different people experience different sexualities.
“We usually try to bring a transgendered person in to talk or somebody else who’s had different experiences, so that people who are growing up in a somewhat conventional tradition are exposed in a very informal and open way to different ways of being and they can ask questions.”
Parent Kelli Siegwart signed her two daughters, Scarlett, 8, and Ivy, 5, up for the last K-1 OWL session in the fall. She notes that the program was a very positive and educational experience for both her and her children.
“I think we have always used proper terms for body parts and things, but it was good to have that reinforced in the community,” Siegwart says. “Often what they hear are the slang words and this program just helps put that into context. I think that the more information they can get from a variety of sources, the better.”
She explains that the first session involved parents sitting down with the OWL teachers and reviewing content and exploring resources. Parents were given a helpful curriculum guide, and had opportunity to develop a comfort with communication that will serve them well as the children grow”That allows us to come back home and sort of adjust some things and pick up on other things, but it also prepared us for things they haven’t asked about yet,” Siegwart says, noting that it’s important to her to make sure her children recognize that healthy sexuality is just part of being human as opposed to something you learn about when you are 12.
“This really focuses on how having a healthy sexuality recognizes an essential part of your being human throughout your life cycle.”
The next OWL session is for children in Grades 4-6, and takes place over four Saturdays beginning Jan. 18. The program is free of charge, but donations to the KUF are encouraged. For more information, visit the Our Whole Lives (OWL) Program for Grades 4 – 6 Facebook page, email owl@kuf.ca or visit www.kuf.ca.
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