There are lots of things to think about before embarking on a purely sexual relationship with someone. If not carefully considered, this type of ‘friends with benefits’ situation can lead to great damage to your emotional wellness and wellbeing.
Often the situation arises because a man and a woman are friends and then one of them proposes taking the relationship to another level – a sexual level. By this, they mean that they want to remain friends and have no relationship ties (and be able to see other people) but they want to indulge in casual sex from time to time. This agreement has to take place between two people who like, trust (and, presumably, fancy) one another. Some also think that it actually puts you in a good place to find a relationship as you are not desperate and are having your needs met in the meantime.
There is a lot of debate about whether ‘friends with benefits’ is a healthy thing, and whether it is right or wrong, but it really all boils down to personal values, and whether you feel that it is right for you or not.
It is becoming a far more common occurrence, too, with a recent study from Deakin University showing that both women and men enjoy the arrangement, and that it is popular with both young people and older people who have recently left marriages or long-term relationships.
The ‘benefits’ are not entirely sexual, either, as the study found that people can gain physical and emotional intimacy from it on a level that they are comfortable with, before they are ready to move on to a full-blown relationship.
There are some pitfalls to consider, however, for example you need to consider whether you will tell any new romantic attachment about your ‘friend with benefits’. You also need to consider whether you will be able to stay friends with your sex buddy once you move on and meet someone else. The biggest danger, too, is getting romantically attached to your ‘friend with benefits’ (especially as it is likely that they will not feel the same way).
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