Being British means we’re all a little bit too polite, which can be a real problem when it comes to your sexual health and relationships. While you think you’re pleasing your lady, she’s probably too polite to say that it’s simply not working. Wellness expert Erin Stevens details, ‘A recent study from Indiana University found that 85% of men said that their partner had an orgasm when they had sex—while only 64% of women said that they themselves had one. Oof. Bottom line: while you think you might be pleasing her, more often than not, you’re missing the mark.’ But why doesn’t she just tell you what she wants? Sex educator Dorian Solot, co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, explains, ‘Women know that most guys want them to reach O-land, and they don’t want to disappoint. So all too often, women fake orgasms, or just let their partner assume they had one.’ Luckily, there are certain positions that can guarantee the real deal, so stick with these to satisfy your partner every time.
1. Missionary: According to Solot, ‘Interestingly, when we surveyed women, good old-fashioned missionary position was the overall favourite. There’s nothing fancy about it, but women said they loved the closeness and the intimacy of having their partner’s weight on them.’ To achieve the best results, Los Angeles-based sex expert and radio host Lora Somoza suggests entering her at a diagonal angle. ‘By going in diagonally—rather than straight in and out—there’s more friction for clitoral stimulation,’ Somoza notes. ‘Which is best, since that’s how most women achieve orgasm.’
2. Reverse Cowgirl: Stevens outlines, ‘In this position, the man is either lying down or in a sitting position, and the female straddles him backwards — facing his feet instead of his face. It’s a key position that also allows easy access to the clitoris.’ Sexologist and sexuality educator Megan Andelloux asserts, ‘Because of the easier clitoral access, this position is the one that is most likely to facilitate an orgasm because direct clitoral stimulation is easy to engage in.’
3. Doggie Style: In this position, your partner ‘is able to adjust her range of motion for an angle that feels best,’ says sex coach Amy Levine, founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. ‘He can likely stimulate her G-spot and have access to her clitoris with his hand, her hand or a toy, like a small bullet-shaped vibrator.’ Sexologist Gloria Brame, PhD, confirms, ‘She will rarely have an orgasm if you’re not doing something manually in front at the same time.’
4. Girl on Top: Stevens comments, ‘Another position that allows her to have the most control of her orgasm is when she’s the one on top, facing forward [but] it still needs to be a joint effort.’ Levine explains that when the woman is on top, ‘she’s in control of the depth and motion, as well as having easy access to her clitoris for pleasure.’ However, Somoza adds, ‘You can help her by moving her hips up and down. It’s a communication thing.’
5. Spooning: Andelloux recommends spooning ‘if you’re into lazy morning Sunday sex playtime. It concentrates on stimulation of the front portion of the vagina or rectum, which is where the most nerves are located in the genitals.’ Stevens points out, ‘Spooning is pleasurable because it creates a tighter fit in the vagina and rectum, so if a woman is looking for more stimulation from her partner’s fingers or penis… spoon away.’
6. Crisscross: Marshall Miller, a sex educator and co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, details, ‘Both partners are lying down. The woman is on her back and the guy is on his side. She has her legs draped over his middle like a giant X. Since your bodies aren’t squished against each other, either you or she can reach down to rub her clitoris, what most women need to reach the Big O.’
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