When you start a family, the wellbeing of that future family should be your main priority and so there are many questions and issues that you and your partner need to think about and discuss before you take further steps towards having children.
Firstly, are you mature enough to be parents? This doesn’t mean you have to wear slippers and read Dickens, but when you’re a parent you have to take responsibility for your own actions and for any consequences that occur as a result of them. Do you chicken out if you do something bad or do you stay and try to solve the problems? This is a key part of family wellness, and you have to be prepared for the stress and responsibility and lack of freedom that comes from being a parent.
Next, how is your financial wellness? Though you don’t have to be Bill Gates in order to start a family, you do need the means of providing for yours. Love is the most important resource which a family should have, but the financial side can’t be ignored. You’ll have the basic financial needs of feeding another mouth, continuing to pay the mortgage and taxes and providing health cover and life insurance. There’s also all the things your child will need like clothes, toys, furniture, medical care and education, so do the maths with your partner and see if it’s a feasible possibility right now.
Also, do you have the right partner to start a family with? If you discover that your relationship needs to end, having a child, will make things much more complicated and add one more person to those who are hurt by your divorce. A strong relationship is the foundation of a strong family, though having a child together will make the bond between you stronger than ever, as humans have a natural instinct for protecting their children. However, this should not be a reason to have a child if your relationship is on the rocks.
Finally, is your work life or your family life your priority? You can’t always have success with both and at a certain point you’ll have to choose. If you think you’re going to resent or be dragged down by having a child, it’s probably not the time in your life to have one. All together, starting a family means a great deal of responsibility, a stable income and a lot of unconditional love. Don’t rush this decision but take the time that both of you need to make the right one.
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