A family meeting is an important time when the whole family discusses events, feelings, changes, plans, intentions, rules, expectations, praise, support and whatever else affects the wellbeing of your family. However, younger children might struggle sitting through the whole thing, or teenagers might not want to discuss certain things in front of little ones, so you may have to only have younger children there for part of the discussion. However, it is important for family wellness, and the wellness of each individual, to have everyone there at once at least for part of it, and to establish this as a routine part of your family life.
Family meetings strengthen bonds, and teaches everyone how to express feelings and concerns in the best possible way. They are a concrete demonstration of the importance of your family and give each family member an opportunity to provide, or to seek, shelter with one another. Make sure you set aside the same time and place to have your meeting, either weekly or bi-weekly. Set the precedents that everyone joins in and has a turn, and no one interrupts or teases, or is negative or mean.
Start the meeting by writing down the agenda of what everyone would like to discuss. Keep notes and write down topics and results, so you can refer to it late if there are disagreements about what was said. Make sure that the book in which you keep notes is not used for any other purpose. Everyone should begin by saying one positive thing that happened in the week, whether it was something special that another family member did or an external kindness that they experienced.
Have a talking stick, so people have to wait to speak, but make sure little ones have crayons and paper, or drawing tools, to amuse themselves with as other members of the family are more able stick to the topics. When beginning the process, you and your partner will have to moderate the discussion, making sure the rules are followed and notes are being kept, though everyone can take turns at being the moderator as the family gets used to the process. Remember, some issues between two people might be better left to a more private discussion.
Make sure the environment is distraction-free and consider setting the mood by clearing the table, adding a vase of flowers, and/or turning off the lights and doing the whole thing by candlelight. This gives a sense of ritual to proceedings. Snacks or dessert is always a good idea to help your children last the meeting. Make sure you end the meeting with some sort of ritual, like blowing out the candles or a prayer, so everyone knows the meeting is at an end.
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