Those who are HIV positive and single have a difficult dilemma ahead of them every time they decide to go on a date: when to disclose their HIV status to the other person. This complicated sexual health issue can lead to many young men and women having strong feelings of anxiety before starting a new relationship, and can cause a decrease in their mental wellbeing.
Some believe that the ‘third date’ rule should apply, and that (of course) no sex should be had up until this point, when the full wellness of both parties can be disclosed. This leaves the early dates for getting to know the other person for who they are, rather than having to think about deeper issues such as HIV infections at such an early stage.
On the other hand, the downside to waiting for the third date is that by this time both parties have got to know one another, and there is a chance that feelings may have developed. Such a revelation can then come as an enormous shock to the party that is having something revealed to them, and also can lead to a great sense of rejection by the carrier of HIV if that person then decides not to continue with the relationship, especially as they may have developed an attachment to that person.
Someone who is opposed to the idea of dating another person who is infected with the HIV infection will not be ‘won over’ by these few initial dates. If they are going to end the relationship because of HIV then they will do it anyway, regardless of how great those early dates have been. This can be for several reasons such as fear of the stigma associated with the disease or fear of contracting the disease themselves.
Many people believe that, because of this, the best time to disclose your HIV status is before any dates have taken place whatsoever. This allows both parties to go into the relationship in full possession of the facts, and avoids any future rejection scenario down the line.
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