Marriage And Sex – How Much is Normal?

When you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you assume that everything will be as compatible as you are. This can hit a snag when it comes to your sex life, though, as we all have different libidos. What do you do if your partner rarely wants sex, or if they want it far more often than you do? Which is normal? The level of sex in your relationship can cause emotional difficulties and rifts between the two of you. Communication is key in these situations – if you can’t talk about this with your partner, the issue will never be resolved.

Being on different wavelengths to your partner means that what is normal, or less so, for you probably isn’t the case for your partner. In other words, what you consider to be a rarity could be constant sexual activity for them. In these situations, it’s important to take into account the differing expectations about sex – every marriage is different, so it’s about coming up with a compromise which leaves you both happy and settled. Experts believe that sex is more of an emotional experience for men than women, contrary to popular belief. Men tend to express their emotions through actions rather than words, which is where using sex as an expression of emotional attachment comes into play. So, it makes sense that they miss sex when it disappears, as it removes their primary emotional outlet.

So, how much is ‘normal’? Nearly 80 percent of married couples say they have sex a few times a month or more, with 32 percent reporting that they have sex two to three times a week. 47 percent stated that they have sex a few times a month, according to a study carried out by the University of Chicago. Researchers found that people are more able to sustain desire in their long-term relationship when they are motivated to meet their partner’s sexual needs, even if this conflicts with their own desires. This is known as sexual communal strength, with those who rate high in this being more willing to engage in sexual activity with their partner even when they aren’t interested in sex themselves.