We all have that one friend who seems to have life completely sorted. It’s easy to compare ourselves to that perfect friend and wonder why our life isn’t quite so wonderful.
So many of us judge our own success by using our friends as a barometer for happiness. Comparing ourselves to others is a habit often developed in childhood. In a classroom filled with people the same age, it’s hard to avoid comparison and children will quickly judge who is the smartest, prettiest, or sportiest. The habit for comparing ourselves to others then sticks throughout the rest of our lives and can be hard to shake off. But if you constantly compare yourself to others, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.
Social media only makes the problem worse. When we look at updates from friends, we see smiling faces and happy families. Few people post about their low moments but, instead, create an illusion of a perfect life. So, before you assume that your friends are always partying or enjoying wonderful days out with their children, remember you’re only seeing a snapshot. The reality could be very different.
The secret, of course, is that even those who appear perfect on the outside are usually just as insecure as everyone else. Remember, your friends often only show the very best side of themselves but what you are not seeing are the times when they are feeling down and out. So how can you stop comparing yourself unfavourably to others?
Take a step back from social media
As we’ve seen, social media often gives an unrealistic glimpse into your friends’ lives.
If your friends seem more attractive, better dressed and healthier than you, remember that pictures on Facebook or Instagram have been carefully chosen to show their very best angle and may have been digitally enhanced. So, rather than communicating on social media, meet up with your friends in real life. You’ll then get a rounder picture of their life, hearing about their problems while being able to offer support as you realise that you share the same worries and insecurities.
Work on yourself
If you feel envious of a friend’s success in a particular area, use it as motivation to improve your own life, rather than dwelling on how lucky they appear to be. Whether it’s applying for a new job, joining a gym or getting back on the dating scene, if there are areas of your life you want to improve, just get on with it, rather than analysing other people’s lives.
Set your own benchmark
Rather than comparing yourself with others, try using yourself as a comparison. For example, if you want to become healthier, make a note of your current fitness levels and then compare your future achievements with your former self.
Find the best in yourself
Instead of comparing your attributes with others, celebrate your strengths for what they are. And remember, while you’re busy comparing yourself to others, somebody out there is probably comparing themselves to you and wishing they had your life. There will always be people who are more or less successful; you can’t change that. All you can change is yourself.
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