Why do so many of us stay in relationships that are no good? Being alone can be scary, and so you may be tempted to put up with a lot more than you should, but surely if the warning signs are there, it’s better to get out now and look for the partner who’s worth the trouble. When you do break up with someone who isn’t right for you, the chances are that your friends and family tell you that you should have done it a long time ago, so here are three questions you need to ask yourself to avoid the dreaded “I told you so”.
1. Are your needs being met – and being met consistently?
While everyone makes mistakes, and it takes a lifetime to learn how to give your partner affection, intimacy and time in the right way, if he withholds these things on more than a few occasions, you should sit him down and openly discuss it. He may not realise what he’s doing, but if he continues to fail at meeting your needs, it’s time to look for someone who will.
2. Is the sex nonexistent?
Having a good sex life doesn’t just give your sexual health and wellbeing a boost; it plays a massive part in your relationship wellness. Everyone goes through the odd dry spell, but if the sex is always bad or you’re starting to find yourself giving the “I have a headache” excuse, there may be an underlying problem at play in your relationship. Try to get to the root of the problem, talk about it and try to make it work, but if you don’t want him in your bed, why do you want him in your life?
3. Do you keep trying to change him?
Your relationship is with the man you see in front of you, not with the potential image of the man you have in your head. People do change over time, but there’s no point gambling your happiness on that happening. Stop forcing him to be something he’s not and a man who’s already the man you see in your mind.
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