Research published in the ‘Journal of Adolescence’ shows that if a younger sibling feels like they’re the favourite and their parents agree, their relationship is strengthened. Surprisingly, with older siblings, whether they feel favoured or not, it has no major effect on the relationship. This is because, say the researchers from Brigham Young University, social comparison – one sibling comparing himself to the other – is the culprit. “It’s not that first-borns don’t ever think about their siblings and themselves in reference to them,” says researcher Alex Jensen. “It’s just not as active of a part of their daily life.”
The researchers collected data from more than 300 families, each with two teenage children, and found that while parents may think treating their children equally is the best way to mitigate any negative effects, this is not the case.
Adds Jensen, “When parents are more loving and they’re more supportive and consistent with all of the kids, the favoritism tends to not matter as much. Some parents feel like ‘I need to treat them the same.’ What I would say is ‘No you need to treat them fairly, but not equally.’ If you focus on it being okay to treat them differently because they’re different people and have different needs, that’s ok.”
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