Stress does more than affect your emotional wellbeing; it takes its toll on your sex life! A new study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, found that highly stressed women were less physically aroused when shown an erotic film, as the anxieties of life distracted them and messed with their libido – even if they wanted to have sex. Lead study author Lisa Dawn Hamilton, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Mount Allison University in New Brunswick, Canada, reports, ‘What we found when we controlled for all other variables was that distraction was the biggest predictor of low levels of arousal.’ So how do you ditch the distractions, sweep away the stress and just have great sex?
1. Just Breathe.
According to sex educator Yvonne Fulbright, PhD, author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking, you need to breathe properly for that mind-blowing orgasm to occur. She explains, that proper breathing ‘improves circulation, enhancing your sexual responsiveness and sensations.’ Before sex, lie on your back with your feet flat on the ground and your knees bent. Breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, put a hand on your belly and focus on your abdomen rising and falling.
2. Slow it down.
A quickie may seem like the best option to tackle stress, but slowing down the foreplay will be infinitely more satisfying. Fulbright notes that unwinding together and making that the focus of your attention, instead of anticipating the end goal – takes the pressure off both of you so you can really enjoy the sensations.
3. Exercise your libido.
You might want to slump in front of the TV after a hard day, but it’s much better for your sexual health – and emotional wellness – if you go for a short walk instead. This will lower your workday stress levels and get your heart rate up which, together, will help to get you in the mood.
4. Lean on lube.
Even if you’re ready to go mentally, anxiety can cause vaginal dryness, which sends signals to your brain and tells your body that you’re not in the mood. Fulbright advises ‘A couple of drops [of lubricant] will relax you and take the pressure off.’
5. Pencil it in
Even though scheduling sex seems a bit clinical and passionless, you might actually enjoy it more! Hamilton comments, ‘If you’re scheduling it, you’re making it a priority. You’re free at that time and you know you don’t have to worry about those other things.’
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