Anxiety is our natural response to stressful situations, but when we’re faced with anxiety over what should be a pleasurable situation it can be less than desirable. Many people, both men and women, get nervous and anxious about their performance in the bedroom, but men in particular are known for having issues with sexual anxiety. The result is the inability to reach an erection or orgasm in a normal way. There are a number of myths which surround this problem, which has manifested a larger problem than the reality for most men.
Sex is considered to be the most pleasurable experience humans can have, and although it is a physical experience this isn’t the whole story. If the individuals aren’t taking their emotions and thoughts into account, this can have disastrous effects on the sex itself. Arousal is closely linked to our emotions and feelings, so when we try to ignore this and focus only on the physical act it can ruin what should be an incredibly enjoyable experience. Performance anxiety is a disease condition, meaning that the individual is quite literally ‘dis’ at ‘ease’ with their situation. However, it isn’t always just a mental complaint – physical ailments can affect your ability in bed. The root of this problem is worry though, which may be caused by stress, body image woes or a fear that they won’t be good enough to satisfy their partner.
Possibly the greatest myth surrounding a person’s sexuality is that worry can’t physically affect anything. Because sex is largely a physical act, it’s easy to assume that there is no connection between the mind and a person’s sexual organs. This isn’t strictly true though. Worry can affect you though, as it causes the body to release the hormones epinephrine, noradrenaline, adrenaline and norepinephrine, which are designed to prepare the body against attack and threat. In moments of extreme intimacy, they aren’t the ideal hormones to be flooding the bloodstream.
There is a rule of thought which states that men are the only ones who get performance anxiety in the bedroom – this isn’t true. Because it isn’t diagnosed or publicised as much, people don’t associate it with the female participants, but it can affect women just as easily. Worry, in women, can manifest itself in a lack of lubrication which can make sex incredibly painful as opposed to desirable. Many people mistakenly think that performance anxiety is a one-off situation, which the individual will simply get over and move on from. Far from it, though, as it can cause a vicious cycle where the individual develops a fear surrounding sex, which lead to a problem in the bedroom, further exacerbating the worry. No-one should have to live with a sexual problem – sex is a personal aspect of a person’s lifestyle, and is there to be enjoyed.
Whether it is a psychological problem or a physical condition, you should seek help for it as soon as possible so that you can resume a normal sex life. Your GP will be able to advise ways to do this, whether it is minor surgical procedures or medication for physical problems, or counselling sessions for the emotional causes. If you think you may have a problem in the bedroom that is causing your performance anxiety, you should speak to your GP about it who can help. Communication is the best treatment for this issue – bottling it up only makes the issue worse and leads to unnecessary shame about your performance with your partner.
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