Is Delayed Ejaculation Damaging Your Relationship?

Delayed ejaculation is one of those sexual health issues that couples really need to discuss. Also referred to as impaired ejaculation, delayed ejaculation is a condition in which it takes an extended period of sexual stimulation for a man to reach sexual climax and release semen from the penis (or ejaculate). Sometimes, delayed ejaculation can really impact your sexual wellbeing, making it impossible for you to ejaculate at all. While this problem can affect your wellness temporarily, it can also be a lifelong problem, which is why you and your partner need to take steps to deal with this issue.


If you experience delayed ejaculation, this may be because you have an underlying chronic health condition, you’ve recently had surgery or you’re on some sort of medication. Other causes of delayed ejaculation include substance abuse and mental health concerns, such as depression, anxiety or stress. Often, delayed ejaculation is due to a combination of physical and psychological concerns. It’s important to understand the cause of your delayed ejaculation because this will determine the type of treatment you receive. That said, it’s perfectly normal to have delayed ejaculation at some point in your life. The only time you need to be concerned is if the problem is ongoing or causes stress for you or your partner – again, this is where communication is crucial.


Physical causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Birth defects that affect your reproductive system
  • Injury to the pelvic nerves that control your ability to orgasm
  • Certain infections
  • Prostate surgery, including transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) or prostate removal
  • Heart disease
  • Prostate infection or urinary tract infection
  • Neurological diseases, including diabetic neuropathy, stroke or nerve damage to your spinal cord
  • Hormone-related conditions, including low thyroid hormone (hypothyroidism) or low testosterone


Psychological causes of delayed ejaculation include:

  • Depression, anxiety or other mental health conditions
  • Relationship problems. This may be due to stress, poor communication or other concerns
  • Anxiety about your sexual performance
  • Cultural or religious taboos
  • Differences between the reality of sex with your partner and your sexual fantasies


But what exactly do you go through with delayed ejaculation? Some men with the condition find that it takes at least 30 minutes of sexual stimulation to have an orgasm and ejaculation, while others suffer from anejaculation, or the inability to ejaculate at all. More often than not, when you have delayed ejaculation it means you can’t reach orgasm during sexual intercourse, but will be able to ejaculate through oral or manual stimulation of the penis. Some men find that masturbation is the only thing that helps them ejaculate. It’s important to understand the symptoms of delayed ejaculation as this will help you determine which type of the condition you have:


1. Lifelong vs. acquired: Acquired delayed ejaculation occurs after a period of normal sexual functioning, while lifelong delayed ejaculation is present from the time you reach reaches sexual maturity.


2. Generalized vs. situational: When you have generalized delayed ejaculation, the condition isn’t limited to certain sex partners or certain kinds of stimulation. Situational delayed ejaculation, on the other hand, occurs only under certain circumstances.


It’s important to find the category in which your delayed ejaculation falls, as this will help in diagnosing an underlying cause, and determining what might be the most effective treatment. You should go to see your GP as and when delayed ejaculation becomes an issue for you or your partner, you have another known health problem that may be linked to delayed ejaculation, you take medications that could be causing the problem, or you have other symptoms along with delayed ejaculation that may or may not seem related.

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