Regardless of the fact that teenagers are becoming sexually active earlier than ever, bringing the subject up and discussing it with them is still difficult for many adults. Sex is no longer a taboo issue and is splashed across the media in almost every form, but talking about it isn’t any easier than decades ago – we still get embarrassed when we talk about this natural act. And furthermore, there’s data to suggest that doctors are also guilty of failing to provide a useful sexual health discussion with teens. Research published in the JAMA Paediatrics states that one third of teenagers seen by a doctor didn’t talk about sexual health with their GP. Although the subject of sex was brought up in around 65 per cent of wellness visits, the conversations they had were extremely brief – in most cases, less than 36 seconds. These findings show that the majority of physicians aren’t making the most of these opportunities to educate teenage patients about sex and the risks involved, such as sexually transmitted diseases and how to prevent them. Although it is easier for parents to leave the subject of sex to medical professionals, it isn’t always the wisest decision – teenagers need to be able to feel comfortable discussing sex with people they trust and are close to. Sex education in schools isn’t usually in-depth enough to give adolescents the knowledge they need to make informed decisions, which is where parents come in to the situation.
Talking about sex is always going to be uncomfortable for parents and teenagers alike, but once you develop an open and trusting relationship around the topic, it gets easier. This is especially the case if what you’re worried about it is the answers you’re going to hear from your child. But there are steps you can take to make the process a little easier. For example, you can always ask for help – consult your GP who can offer you some advice about how to embark on this issue. Not only will it help you to form an unbiased discussion about sex but it will also help GPs to make sexual health conversations more engaging. You should also be as knowledgeable as possible on the subject – you’ll want to be prepared for any questions your teen may have. This means doing your research about the risks to teen sex these days, the various contraceptive methods available to adolescents and ensuring that your information is accurate. Giving your child inaccurate information could be extremely detrimental to their health and safety. If you’re not sure about the answer to a question, there’s no shame in explaining to your teen that you’ll need to find out and get back to them, rather than guessing.
But more importantly, you need to make sure those conversations happen – don’t let your teenager off the hook. If your teen says they don’t need ‘the talk’, make sure you still sit down and chat with them – even if it’s going over what they know, it will help to open up the channels of communication and build a trusting relationship between you both. Don’t discipline your teen when you talk to them – this isn’t the time to make your child feel ashamed or anxious about sex. Just because you’re talking about certain activities with them doesn’t mean they’re automatically engaging in them, so try not to be judgemental. Furthermore, remember that face to face conversations aren’t the only ways to communicate – why not write your child an email covering the topics, so that you both feel able to talk about things you might feel too embarrassed to say in person.
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