More often than not, sexual health and wellness is in the mind. After all, would you want to get down to it if the “mood” wasn’t right? This is where setting a sexy environment in which pleasure is celebrated can help to enhance your sexual wellbeing. Holistic practitioner Chrissie Wildwood asserts, ‘The concept of the healing power of pleasure is grounded in the new science of psychoneuroimmunology.’ Meaning that creating a sexual, sensual atmosphere isn’t just good for your relationship; it’s also good for your health! Wildwood explains, ‘Pleasing experiences such as falling in love, listening to music, receiving nurturing massage, and inhaling pleasant fragrances actually strengthen the body’s immune defences.’
According to the Sinclair Intimacy Institute, ‘A romantic atmosphere can awaken the stirrings of passion and elevate lovemaking from the ordinary to the extraordinary.’ Sex therapist Margo Anand, author of The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, notes, ‘A sanctuary protects you from the hubbub of the ordinary world. It possesses distinct qualities that set it apart: silence, beauty, elegance, sensual delight. It engenders feelings of confidence and harmony and sets the stage for moments of special grace.’ If you set aside a space or “sanctuary” for romance, it gives you and your partner the ability to explore a new dimension of sexual connection – but how do you create such a space?
1. Location, Location, Location: While you may think the obvious choice of location for your sexual sanctuary would be your bedroom or living room, there is the danger that these spaces will be too cluttered with the sights and sounds of daily life or too restful to encourage profound sexual exploration. Therefore, the Sinclair Intimacy Institute instructs, ‘Choose a room that will provide a respite from daily distractions. Those who cannot set aside a room for this purpose can temporarily transform an everyday space such as the bedroom or living room. This sanctuary should protect you from the outside world, providing a safe and peaceful environment free of computers, phones, televisions, alarms and children.’
2. Decorate Together: ‘Ideally, couples should create their sacred space together so that it reflects each of their tastes,’ says the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. ‘Once the space has been thoroughly cleaned and removed of any clutter, decorate with sensual colors, fabrics, textures and objects. Inexpensive tapestries or colorful sheets hung from the walls or ceiling can transform an ordinary room into an exotic temple of delight. They can also easily be removed if this space serves other purposes. Consider incorporating decorative prints, photographs or artworks that suggest romance or erotica.’
3. Involve All Your Senses: Certain elements can really fan the flames of passion, so make sure these are included in your sexual sanctuary. The Sinclair Intimacy Institute recommends, ‘Select ingredients that delight all five senses. Candles, decorative lights, fragrances, incense, scented massage oil, plush pillows, feathers, bells or other musical instruments (a stereo is fine too), water, and a few sumptuous treats such as chocolates, olives, or fruit are possible accoutrements. Experiment with a variety of “tools” to create the proper atmosphere and spawn new romantic possibilities.’
4. Plan Your Rendezvous: Once you’ve got your area set up, it’s time to get ready for a long night of sexual wellness! The Sinclair Intimacy Institute advises, ‘Wear something sensual and revealing — lingerie, a velvet robe or silk kimono. Light candles or dim the lights to create a soft, warm ambience. Then, infuse the room with a favourite fragrance. Men are certain to enjoy lavender, pumpkin and orange, which have been found to send blood rushing to their “power stations.” A spritz of ylang ylang, eucalyptus or mint can also titillate the senses.’
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