You probably have a bucket list of things you want to do in your life – but what about your sexual wellness to-dos? According to sex and relationship expert Emily Morse, ‘Actually writing something down gets you to mentally commit to it.’ So get out your pen and paper and start jotting down all the things you’ve always wanted to try. To help get you started, we’ve come up with a sexual bucket list of our own.
1. The Lift Up: Sexual health and wellness expert Faye Brennan instructs, ‘Bend over and put your hands on the ground and your butt in the air (think downward-facing dog). Have your guy stand behind you in a wide stance with his hands on your hips. Once he’s inside you, control the motion by going up and down on your toes and pushing your backside into his groin.’ Why should this be on your sexual bucket list? Lisa Sweet, author of 365 Sex Thrills, explains, ‘This puts you in total control of the action. The angle will offer G-spot stimulation, and he can also slide his hands around to give your clitoris some TLC.’
2. Post-Workout Sex: Brennan details, ‘Research in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women enjoyed a 150% increase in genital arousal after a 20-minute cardio session—but it faded after about 30 minutes.’ So jump in the shower with your man as soon as you get home, and put your back against the shower wall while you raise a leg. Sweet notes, ‘He can hold your knee in the crook of his elbow—it will open you up and direct the pressure against your clitoris.’ A little tip: having him make small circles with his hips instead of thrusting can help prevent him wiping out.
3. Watch Erotic Movies Together: ‘Resist the urge to riffle through Netflix and instead pop in an erotic movie that caters to both of your libidos,’ suggests Brennan. ‘A study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research found that men preferred more graphic sex scenes while women got excited by erotic story lines.’ Kat Van Kirk, PhD, a clinical sexologist and relationship therapist, recommends Intimate Encounters as ‘It shows couples in intimate situations, but there’s plenty of explicit sex for guys to appreciate.’ However, if you don’t like the idea of full-on porn, try a mainstream movie with intense sex scenes, like Blue Valentine or Wild Orchid.
4. Take Sex Ed for Adults: You go to classes to learn how to do yoga or improve your cooking skills, so why not learn a little more about sex? Master Jeff, co-host of the Experience Channel’s No Vanilla Web series, recommends such classes. He points out, ‘For instance, you can learn to give each other a sexy massage.’ Look out for sexy retailers in your area to see if they offer any workshops. After all, it’s never a bad thing to get a little bit of instruction in these areas — especially if you’re trying them for the first time!
5. No-Thrust Sex: Rachael Ross, MD, PhD, sexologist and family-medicine physician on The Doctors, details, ‘Basically, he enters you and there’s a lot of kissing, caressing, and touching—without any pelvic thrusting… your vagina will start to rhythmically contract.’ Brennan adds, ‘This slow-burn technique, used in tantric sex, is still erotic enough to give you an orgasm…and it reconnects you as a couple, reminding you that sex is about more than pounding away and going to sleep.’ Plus, without all that exhausting thrusting, you can make this tantric experience last for hours.
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