When did flirting become so hazardous? What started off as love notes and cheeky texts has become the threat to your romantic and professional wellbeing that is sending naked pictures of yourself to your significant other. You’ve heard a horror story of someone – usually female – who sent a naked photo for the private viewing of one individual, and yet this photo ended up on some porn site or social media. Whether your partner’s email account is hacked, or your ex wants to get their own back, the internet is forever, and so is your shame. With that in mind, we spoke to sexual health and wellness writer Mary Stringer, for her sexting guidelines.
1. Don’t Send Naked Pictures: According to Stringer, ‘I wouldn’t encourage sexting, even between consenting adults, as I’ve heard one too many negative sexting sagas.’ That said, when you’re all loved up, it’s hard to listen to such sage advice. So, if you do decide to strip off for your camera phone, at least consider the following…
2. Think Before You Click: ‘Before you send a photo, think to yourself: would I be happy with everyone I know seeing this?’ Stringer advises. ‘My parents, friends, colleagues? When in doubt, picture a beloved grandparent’s face if they saw the photo. If it’s a heart-attack face, delete and don’t send. If it’s a “Well she’s shamed the family but it is at least tastefully done” face… this is better.’
3. Be a Big Tease: Stringer would ‘never normally advocate being a tease, but when it comes to sexting it’s a surprisingly effective and enticing way to spice up the exchange without compromising your dignity,’ she says. ‘Send an image of a stockinged leg or a strategically posed partial nude. Far sexier than full frontal, and you’ll be less devastated about it winding up online.’
4. Check the Room For Giveaways: ‘Got any photos of yourself scattered around?’ asks Stringer. ‘An embarrassingly identifiable The Only Way Is Essex duvet cover or an exotic fraying wall-hanging from your gap year? These things will make it much harder to deny to friends and family that it’s you in the picture. Also – tidy up! Dirty laundry on the floor and an overflowing bin are not sexy.’
5. Don’t Pull a Porn Face: Stringer notes, ‘You’re not a porn star. Pull a face like Jenna Jameson and, if the images wind up online, people might assume – unfairly – that you put those snaps up yourself. Your best bet is to look away from the camera, as if you’ve seen something cool and interesting out of shot. An innocent ‘who me?’ face might also work well. But your best bet, other than NOT TAKING NAKED PICTURES is to not have your face in the photo at all…If the incriminating photo does eventually wind up online, then it’s just another naked body. But if you have distinctive moles or tattoos then, seriously, don’t bother.’
6. Use Good Lighting: ‘The type of light you use can make the difference between a trashy, unflattering snap, and a classy sexy shot,’ Stringer asserts. ‘Soft sexy lighting will help to obscure your features and soften the snap. Camera flash: off.’
7. Don’t Think You’re Safe: Stringer warns, ‘Don’t think you’re safe on Skype or Google chat. A video exchange can be screenshot or even filmed. Don’t do it, but if you do, keep your face covered or out of shot.’ The same goes for Snap Chat or any other app designed to delete sexts after they’re seen. It’s 2014; people know how to get around technology.’
Comments are closed.