While teenagers may be a little more sexually liberated today than teenagers were a few decades ago, that is not to say they understand sex any more. Talking about sexual wellness can be difficult for you and your teenagers, despite the fact that sex is less of a taboo subject than it was. However, if you’re hoping to leave the talk to the medical professional, you might be putting your teen’s wellbeing at risk. New data suggests doctors are also guilty of failing to bridge the sexual health discussion gap with teens. The researchers, who published their work in JAMA Pediatrics, found that the topic of sex was brought up in approximately 65% of wellness visits and the conversation following was often less than 36 seconds. The report concluded, ‘The findings suggest that physicians are missing opportunities to educate and counsel adolescent patients on healthy sexual behaviours and prevention of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy.’
Sexual health and wellbeing expert Hope Gillette points out, ‘While many parents and guardians would likely prefer to leave the topic of sexual health to medical professionals, the fact is teenagers are not getting the in-depth conversations they need in that atmosphere. Some sexual health education is provided for teens at school, but the quality of this depends on the teacher and the programme, and teens may still be reluctant to discuss sexual health in front of their peers. Though it may be uncomfortable, parents and trusted adults are still the best option for talking to teens in a way that has the most positive effect.’ So how do you talk about such an uncomfortable subject? Gillette gives the following tips:
1. Ask for Help: Gillette asserts, ‘If you aren’t comfortable talking to your teenager, you can take your concerns to your family physician. Not only will this provide a more potentially un-biased discussion, but parental urging will help doctors make sexual health conversations more engaging. If your doctor knows the parents are concerned, he or she will make it a point to have a well-rounded discussion.’
2. Be Knowledgeable: ‘While it’s natural to carry your own ideals into a conversation, before you approach the topic of sexual health with your teenager, be sure you have done your research and are equipped with the correct information,’ Gillette advises. ‘Telling your teenager inaccuracies about sexual health can be seriously detrimental in the long run, and may even put them more at-risk for health issues related to physical intimacy.’
3. Don’t Let Your Teen off the Hook: Gillette notes, ‘Because sexual health is an uncomfortable topic, many teenagers don’t want to discuss it with their parents. Don’t let your teenager convince you he or she doesn’t need “the talk.” Despite what they think they know, there are a lot of misconceptions out there about sexual health, especially when it comes to pregnancy and contraception.’
4. Do Not Discipline Your Teenager: ‘A sexual health conversation is not the time to corner your teenager about sexual activities,’ warns Gillette. ‘Let them ask questions; just because they ask doesn’t mean they are doing those activities. If you can’t enter into the sexual health conversation without being judgmental, you may not be the best person to talk with your teen about physical relationships.’
5. Realise There are Other Ways to “Talk”: ‘Sometimes face-to-face conversations are intimidating,’ says Gillette. ‘If you think your teenager might shut down during a sexual health conversation, initiate the topic through another method–like email. Writing allows both individuals to say what they need to say uninterrupted and can often be a more open and honest form of expression.’
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