There are certain rules about dating that, let’s be honest, we need to update. It’s no longer necessary to wait for the guy to make the first move, nor should women fear dating a younger man (within reason!) According to sexual health and relationship wellness expert Rebecca Boneschans, ‘A few of the dating rules still apply, but have slight modifications.’ So how do you go about up-dating?
1. The Pick Up: ‘It’s no longer necessary for men to pick up women at their homes,’ says Boneschans. ‘This was largely appropriate in times when women lived at home with their parents and they knew exactly who was coming to their door. In fact, women can pick up men. But, in today’s era of digital dating, it’s best to keep your address private. Online and mobile dating has made it possible for you to connect with more people, but it also creates a bigger pool of potential creepers.’ April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League and Think & Date Like a Man, advises, ‘Meet him somewhere until you get to know him better. It’s perfectly good etiquette for you to meet your date for the first, second, and third dates.’
2. He Says, She Says: Masini notes, ‘Texting is what you do to save time. Relegating a date to the same method you use to get low bank balances is insulting. The same goes with Facebook. I hear a lot of younger people using Facebook to do what they should be doing in person when it comes to romance and dating.’ Boneschans explains, ‘The idea is to use the different ways to reach out as a starting point, but definitely don’t use it as the only way to reach out. Do use it to send clean and flirty conversations. If you’re comfortable enough with adding a new date to your personal networking sites, then more power to you. Just don’t fret over every single detail of their online life without having conversations with them in person.’
3. Doing the Deed: ‘The “no sex on the first date” rule still applies,’ says Boneschans. ‘Unless, of course, you’re only looking to hook up. If that’s the case, don’t expect something deep and meaningful to develop from a one-night stand…This old—yet effective—rule gives you the chance to really get to know each other. Take the first few dates, or even months, getting to know each other on a deeper level. That emotional connection will make the sex all that much more explosive down the road.’ Masini adds, ‘Sex doesn’t mean the same thing to men that it does to women, so don’t trick yourself into thinking that sex on the first date means he likes you.’
4. Opposites Attract (or Not): ‘Opposites are fun in the short run,’ Masini admits. ‘But those with more likes than differences will be more successful.’ Boneschans comments, ‘Just because magnets stick to each other doesn’t mean you and a potential date will too. If you’re looking for someone you can grow with in a relationship, pick a partner with interests similar to your own. This will alleviate any tensions regarding activities, parties, and people you interact with.’
5. Young at Heart: Boneschans instructs, ‘Toss aside the rule that dating outside your age bracket is forbidden. Men are dating younger women, because, well, they’ve done it for centuries. Women have followed suit and are dating younger men because of the vitality they give the relationship. It’s fun and keeps things interesting. Your experiences and the way you live should really determine the quality of a date, not the year on their birth certificate. One caveat: No one younger than 18, please.’
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