Sometimes, there’s no denying that different personality times clash. Some people just weren’t designed to get along, but what happened when these people happen to be your best friend and your boyfriend? It seems so strange that they both gel well with you – so they must have something in common – but, nonetheless, they can’t seem to find common ground. As two of the most important people in your life, they’re going to bump into each other, so how do you get this situation sorted?
Firstly, if they struggle to be in the same room as each other, don’t force it. This will only make them more annoyed at being made to do something they don’t want to do, and they’ll probably see you as overly controlling – which is never good. Putting to much pressure on their relationship wellness could have a detrimental impact on their relationships with you, as they could resent you and feel like throwing in the towel. The best thing to do is to talk to them both individually. If they have a problem with each other, it may turn out to be something really simple that can be easily fixed. This may not be the case, but it’s worth giving it a shot.
If they just cannot be around each other, you’ve probably got to start thinking about dividing your time between them. There’s no point third-wheeling it if no one wants to be there – where’s the fun in that? Try to spend equal amounts of time with each person. Maybe you could dedicate at least one night a week as a BF night, and another as a categorical BFF night. That way, they know you’re making the effort to keep them both. They may even be courteous to each other at group events, as a token of appreciation for your effort and understanding.
However, this can be a rosy view of some situations. You might find that both your friend and your partner are giving you a hard time, which can take its toll on your mental wellbeing. If it comes to the point where something’s got to give, think long and hard before choosing sides. Do you think you and your boyfriend have a future together (which is worth losing a friend over) or is it just fun? Is your friend looking out for you by pointing out flaws in your partner, or is she just not trying to be happy for you? Ultimately, it’s up to you, but if either of them care about you, they’ll try not to put you in this position.
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