At New Year’s you get a good smooch when the clock strikes 12, and everyone gets a little passionate come Valentine’s day, but is Christmas sexy? I mean, you eat until you’re gassy and bloated, bicker with relatives and slouch around the house in a big, cosy onesie – that doesn’t exactly scream sexual health to me! However, Jill Di Donato, Adjunct Professor of English at The Fashion Institute of Technology and author of upcoming book 52 Weeks of Sex: Diary of a Single Gal, argues that Christmas isn’t just a time for peace and goodwill, but sexual wellness too!
Di Donato recalls, ‘I’ll never forget the Christmas I unwrapped a training bra in front of all of my relatives, and with all the teen angst and melodrama I could muster, threw the package – ribbons flying – at my mother. Pre-puberty, there was something profane about mixing anything even remotely sexual into the holidays. In adulthood, I’ve found the opposite to be true. Why does no one tell you in some sort of advanced 18-and-over sex ed class, “The secret to handling your mother and the I-didn’t-bake-at-all-this-year-again guilt and the dress that won’t zip and the thing you accidentally said to your co-worker at the holiday party is to have a lot of sex?”’ With all the cooking, wrapping, carolling and general festivities to stress about, your sexual wellbeing may be the last thing on your mind. However, with Di Donato’s guide to good holiday sex, Christmas will really be the season to be jolly (wink wink).
1. Sneak around: Di Donato remembers, ‘One of my best times was on the cold bathroom tile in a boyfriend’s mother’s house with Christmas music blasting in the background. As we were unmarried, his family didn’t find it appropriate for us to share a bedroom, so we had to sneak around like we were teenagers all over again – except this time we knew what we were doing!’ The thrill of breaking the rules never gets old, so why not jingle his bells when there’s a vague possibility you might get caught.
2. Pretend you’re on holiday: Christmas shakes up everyone’s routine, even if you’re not going away for the holidays. ‘Use the disruption in your schedule to stir things up in your sex life by doing something sexually you wouldn’t normally do,’ Di Donato advises. ‘In other words, go into vacation sex mode.’ Researchers at the Kinsey Institute have found that couples have better sex when they’re on holiday because they are temporarily released from the monotony of everyday life.
3. Give generously: ‘Generosity is contagious this time of year, and there’s no reason not to bring it into the bedroom,’ Di Donato points out. ‘Rather than focusing on your big finish, try concentrating on your partner’s pleasure. Don’t let him or her put on hand (or any other part) on you; this is all about him or her. Ask what your partner wants and if you’re doing it juuust right. At the end, if there’s an attempt to reciprocate, refuse. It can be your turn another time. Moments of selflessness are good for the soul.’
4. Get nostalgic: If you’re single and going home for Christmas, the chances are you’re going to bump into an old flame or two. Di Donato comments, ‘If you’ve always wondered what might have been, there’s no harm in flirting with a person who intrigued you way back when and seeing where it leads. Not only are you older, wiser, and sexier, but your worldliness gives you new perspective on that one who got away. It might be a welcome holiday distraction, or as treacly as it seems, something more…That said, while holiday hook-ups may seem like a good way to avoid a silent night – they can be dangerous territory. Indulge with caution.’
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