Female sexual health, in the same way as men’s, focuses on emotional as well as the physical side. If you want to achieve a healthy and satisfying sex life, you need to remember that it doesn’t happen overnight – it takes time to realise what you want out of sex and honest communication. Although talking about sex can be tricky and sometimes embarrassing, there’s no need to feel awkward about it. Discussing your wants and needs from the bedroom is vital in order to achieve a healthy sex life with your partner. Most people are under the impression that sex begins with a physical desire, which moves on to arousal and then an orgasm. This may be the case for men, but women are programmed differently. Women are motivated by their emotions firstly in many cases, and this changes how they approach sex as a whole. For some women, the pleasure of an arousal is enough whereas others seek the orgasm. You need to know what you want from sex in order to know what to ask for when you’re talking to your partner. But once you do know, the conversation is ready to be approached with your partner.
So how do you talk about it? Sharing your thoughts and expectations surrounding you sexual experiences can help you feel closer to your partner and can increase the intimacy between you both. In fact you’ll probably both enjoy the sexual experience all the more. To begin with admit your discomfort. If you’re feeling anxious about it say so – begin honest is vital here. You need to open up about your concerns before you embark on this conversation so that you and your partner know what you’re trying to tackle within the conversation. Then it’s as simple as start talking. Once you begin talking you’ll find that the anxiety dissipates and your confidence levels will grow. Set a time limit though so that you don’t overwhelm each other with a lengthy discussion. Perhaps devote a 15 minute limit to the topic which may also help you to stay within your emotional comfort zones. Talking regularly with your partner makes these conversations easier and more honest, as you won’t be restricted by anxiety or worry. You could even invite your partner to read a book or watch an online video about the topics you’d like to discuss so that you’re both on the same page when it comes to the topic itself.
There are many topics which you may feel you want to raise with your partner such as how much time you’re both setting aside for intimacy or if the romance is missing from your relationship. What gives you both mutual and individual enjoyment in bed? You need to be open to hearing your partner’s requests, as well as having your requests heard. It can be easy to settle into comfort and routine, but you need to be aware of when that shifts from a routine to a rut. If your sex life has become predictable, what changes can you make to spice things up? Remind each other of the opportunities for emotional closeness as well as physical – sex is more than just intercourse. You’ll no doubt have differing opinions on what constitutes a good sex life, but exploring those ideas together can heighten your enjoyment of sex – the first step to it all is talking about it and airing your views and needs.
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