Once you’re married, there’s no need for flirting, right? Wrong! While flirting isn’t the be-all and end-all of your sexual health and wellness, that’s not to say that flirting should be retired once you’ve got the ring. A cheeky flirt here and there will show your husband that you still fancy him, and will take your sexual wellbeing to a whole new level. Therefore, we’ve got advice from relationship expert Harlan Cohen, as well as some real husbands, as to the best way to keep the sparks flying.
1. Create a little mystery: Avery G, 28, from New York City, details, ‘My girlfriend insists that the bedroom door stays closed while she gets ready for date night. Whenever she comes out ready to go, she always looks amazing. It takes me back to when we first started dating, when I’d always get so excited seeing her smiling at me as she came into the bar or restaurant.’
2. Expect him to laugh: If you’re not usually much of a flirter, breaking from the ordinary may cause your guy to giggle. However, that doesn’t mean your husband is uncomfortable or weirded out and, most importantly of all, he doesn’t want you to stop. Cohen asserts that the best thing you can do is laugh along with him. After all, you’re not flirting with someone you’ve just met; you’re in an established relationship, so it doesn’t have to be perfect.
3. Show some love online: Chuck R, 40, from Secaucus, New Jersey, comments, ‘I’d never admit it to my friends, but I love when my wife posts a sort of sappy Some E-Card on my Facebook wall. I love that she isn’t afraid to share her feelings, and I also like that it never gets too personal. If she used pet names or dropped a lot of details, that would be overkill.’
4. Do your thing: When you just meet someone, you often adapt your flirting style to what you think the guy expects. However, now you’re married, it’s pretty safe to say that you know one thing that impresses him about you is your individuality – so show it off! Cohen recommends showcasing your quirky personality as one way to remind him how much he loves you.
5. Give him (a little bit) of grief: Patrick O, 38, from Maplewood, New Jersey, admits, ‘I’m extremely neat, and sometimes my wife will Instagram a picture of me folding towels or doing the dishes while wearing an apron and gloves. Because it’s done with love, it makes me laugh, and I like that, in a weird way, she wants to show me off to her friends.’
6. See him in his element: Dave W, 35, from Boise, Idaho, comments, ‘I teach fitness classes, and I get a huge kick when my wife comes to one. She’ll stand in the front row, make great eye contact, and follow my directions — it feels like she listens and values what I do, which makes me feel awesome. Plus, not everyone in class knows we’re together, so it definitely stokes my ego when she acts like she’s into me after class.’
7. Keep him guessing: Derek R, 31, from Savannah, Georgia, explains, ‘Occasionally I’ll get a text that says, “I have a surprise for you tonight.” Sometimes, it’s as simple as her picking up a pint of our favourite ice cream, but once, it was that she booked us a hotel room in a nearby city for the night. No matter what, it’s always good — and I can barely concentrate for the rest of the day after seeing it.’
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