When your teenager experiments with drugs, it’s more than an issue of physical wellness; they’re also threatening their mental health. In fact, drug use can negatively influence all aspects of your teen’s wellbeing, and so it’s vital to get in on the ground floor and talk to your child about drugs before it becomes a problem. This is no easy task, but a few pointers can make the conversations go a little more smoothly:
1. Educate yourself. Before you can teach your child about drugs, you first need to do your homework so that you can talk to your child in an informed way. Make sure you understand enough about drugs, including why your child might experiment with them, so you can answer any questions and keep calm in a crisis – just make sure you use reliable resources.
2. Time it right. When your teen is rushing out the door to school or a friend’s house, they won’t want to stop for a good talk about drug use, so anything you say will go in one ear and out the other. Likewise, if your teenager is on drugs they’re not going to be in a place to listen if they’re high. Pick a time when your teen is in the right frame of mind to hear you. Mealtimes are a good forum for discussion, while TV programmes that deal with drug use, or when it comes up on the news, can help to spark the subject.
3. Make sure your stance is clear. The chances are that your child already knows your values and boundaries, but it’s important to clarify exactly where you stand on drug taking so that everyone is on the same page. If you start talking about the issue before they start experimenting with drugs, it may make them feel strong and independent enough to be able to say no.
4. Don’t try to scare them out of it. Again, this is where educating yourself is important, as adolescents tend to know a bit more about drugs than their parents do. This means there’s no point in warning that smoking cannabis will kill them, as they know this isn’t the case and so you’ll just discredit everything else you say on the subject. Talking about the facts, on the other hand, will help the situation to feel more realistic and tangible. For example, pointing out that cannabis can cause mental health problems and make you forgetful and unmotivated will be more of a deterrent.
5. Know who your teenager spends their time with. Adolescents don’t start taking drugs in a vacuum; they have friends who start doing it and pressure them to act likewise. In fact, peer pressure is the single most powerful factor in determining whether or not your child will take drugs, so it’s essential that you know their friends. You may be tempted to ban your teen from hanging out with any potentially shifty pals, but it’s far better to take an interest in your child’s friends and invite them to the house. That way, you can keep a closer eye on what’s going on.
6. Let your teen know you’re always there for them. Your teenager needs to be able to come to you no matter what, and be honest rather than telling you what they think you want to hear. This means fostering a relationship of openness and non-judgement, which requires you to talk to them in the right way. Instead of preaching or making assumptions about what your child is up to, ask about their experiences and really listen. One way to create an on-going relationship of communication – rather than a one-off discussion – is to have a conversation when you’re doing things side-by-side, such as driving in the car, washing up together or preparing food.
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